Relationships Part 1

Relationships

Relationships are something that we all have. They are part of life and part of the fabric of our nation. The relationships can be great or they can be challenging. Some relationships are good for us and others are not. There are many aspects to relationships and over the next few weeks we will look at some of them.

What does the Bible have to say on relationships? Well, quite a lot really. In fact, there is so much on relationship because the whole Bible is really about relationship. Its about God's relationship with people, with Israel, with us. Its about having good relationships with one another, showing us how to live in relationship, how to build relationship and how to share life together well.

1. Relationship with God

We see God in relationship with Adam and Eve in the garden. He had created them and he walked with them in the garden until they messed up and sinned. God removed them from the garden, but his desire for relationship with people was not lost. It is interesting that at this point, the consequence of disobedience to God was that difficulties between men and women began too. The NLT says the woman will desire to control the husband and the husband will want to rule over the woman.

If you remember, this was not God's original plan. God's original plan was for mutual love, affection and equality. Bone from my bone and fresh from my flesh indicates equality, and love and partnership in life. This was God's original plan, and he restored it with Christ, when we became equal partners in the faith, equal before God.

Col 3:10-11
Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him. In this new life, it doesn't matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilised, slave or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in us.
Note well: This is all about relationship. These verses go on to talk about how we are to live in relationship to others - clothed with tenderness, mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, forgiveness and forbearance.

Gal 3:26-29
For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus And all who have been united with Christ in Baptism have put on the character of Christ, like putting on new clothes. There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus. And now that you belong to Christ, you are true children of Abraham. You are his heirs, and God's promise to Abraham belongs to you.

1 Peter 3:7
In the same way, you husbands must give honour to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life.

God brought restoration to what had been broken. After Adam and Eve we see God relating to mankind through other people, through Abraham and the nation of Israel that came from him and his descendants. We see God walking and talking with Abraham and bringing the promise of relationship with God to him and to the descendants. Finally, the Bible tells us in Galatians, when the time was right, Jesus came into the world, to once and for all bring back relationship with God.

Gal 4:4-6
But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law. God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children. And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out "Abba, Father." Now you are no longer a slave but God's own child. And since you are his child, God has made you his heir.

The reason Jesus came into the world was a result of relationship. God wants relationship with us, and so he made a way for us to be brought back into that relationship.

2 Cor 5:17-18a
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun. And all of this is a gift from God who brought us back to himself through Christ....

God wants relationship with us and that relationship, which started with Adam and Eve and was broken in the garden of Eden, is restored through Christ. Jesus came to repair the relationship, to bring grace and forgiveness to the world. Jesus came so that we could belong in a family, so that we could be in relationship with our heavenly Father, and so that we could have life abundantly. As a result, we can have relationship with God. We are his children, part of his family and placed in his family here on earth.

What does your relationship with God look like?

What would you like it to look like?

How will you address the difference?

We also know that God has placed people in families for relationship and that when families break down, relationships break down. The great thing is that God is a repairer of broken relationships.

In 2 Cor 5:17 He repairs our relationship with him, our relationship with ourselves and our relationships with others. We are created anew. He desires that we be in relationship with one another and that we love those around us so that they will know him. When people don't have their own family, God places them in his family. He places those whose families are not functioning properly into the family of the church, into his family.

Psalm 68:5-6
Father to the fatherless, defender of widows, this is God, whose dwelling is Holy. God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

God, who is Holy, who is almighty, is a true father, who cares about people. He wants relationship with people, and he wants his people to have a place to belong, so he places them where they can have that relationship, and be with others in a loving family. He will do these things if we will let him. God wants to be in relationship with us, but he will not force relationship on us, he simply says "I love you, I have made a way for you to be in relationship, I have called you to me. Will you come?"

It's as simple as that.

Will you come?

Will you come into the relationship that will make all the difference in your life?

Will you spend time and enjoy his presence, and allow him to live in you and work in you to give you the best life possible?

2. Relationships with people
God calls us into relationship with him then he says "Go and live in relationship with others. Go and show the world what it means to be in relationship with me, by living in loving and caring and encouraging relationships with others, in your families, with your friends at work and in service for others."

2 Cor 5:18
And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him.

Our lives are about relationship with others so that others may know God, and be reconciled to him. But God does more than that. He reconciles us to each other so that we can live in proper relationship with each other. He gives us instructions on how we are to treat others, speak to others and care about others. Jesus said that people would know we are his disciples by the way we love one another. 1 John 4 continues this theme.

1 John4:9,11
God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him.

Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other.

An interesting statistic I heard recently is that people are not connecting like they used to. (Disconnected - Andrew Leigh 2011). In fact people are inviting others over into their homes for meals only half as often as they did 10 years ago. People are not building relationships with others as much. People are struggling, we need each other.Sure, we have FaceBook and Twitter and Instagram. We are sharing our lives more with others but we are not necessarily building relationships with others. We know alot about others, but we don't really know them or build relationships with them. Over the next few weeks we will look at what it means to build relationships, what to do when relationships are difficult, and learning to love and forgive others, because relationships are important. Relationships are powerful

Ecclessiastes 4:9-12
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back to back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple braided cord is not easily broken.

Two are better than one, a cord of three is not easily broken. Two people are always better. The Bible says that one can put a thousand to flight, but two can put ten thousand to flight. When there is relationship, there is strength and there is power. I think one of the biggest mistakes we make is to think that we can go it alone, because alone is a very vulnerable place to be. Two people enable each other, two people get more done, more quickly.
Life is about relationship. In fact, when we bring God into our relationships, he brings strength and direction and purpose to them.

We know that small babies need touch and care to keep them going and to keep them alive. We need relationships to keep us going, to keep us alive. God's design was for families where children can grow and be loved in a protected environment. He designed extended families and circles of friends where people could find love and care and a place to belong. In our individualistic society, we sometimes forget how crucial relationships are to our lives and to society in general.

Hebrews 10:23-25
Let us hold tightly without wavering, to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to to keep his promise. Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

God has placed us in his family, not just for relationship with him, but for relationship with others. Lets encourage one another, by building strong, positve relationships with one another. These relationships are with our fellow Christians and with people not yet part of the family, those that still need reconciling to God. But we have these relationships for a reason. Paul says, keep in relationship, keep meeting together. There is strength being together, there is encouragement from being together, there are things to do together. Paul says, don't neglect your relationships. They are powerful.
When families are strong, we find society is healthy and strong. We have God's family, that provides strength to us, a place of love and a place of safety.

The reason the Bible talks about brothers and sisters in Christ is because that is how our relationships are meant to be: not independent (living in isolation and never relating to anyone) or codependent, (relying on others to do everything, or being in a relationship where you do everything, or a lot for others, because you are caught in a relationship of manipulation and guilt); but interdependent (where healthy people build healthy relstionships, taking responsibility for their own stuff and helping to carry the burdens of others). This is how we relate to one another in a healthy way, where our relationship with Christ is the driving force behind everything we do and where we live in relationship with others, loving caring, challenging and forgiving.

Gal 6:2 -5
Share each others burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct.

When it comes to relationships, we are to spend more time on our own stuff than looking at other people's stuff. We live in a culture where other people's stuff is big news and we compare to others all the time. Then we gossip and bitch about others instead of dealing with our own challenges.
Paul says, take responsibility for your own life and stop comparing yourself to everyone else. When we live this way, caring about others instead of comparing with others, we build stronger relationships. Jesus said that before we correct another person, take a good hard look at your own life.

Matt 7:3-5
And why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, "let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye," when you can't see past  the log in your own eye. Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you can see well enough to deal with the speck in your friends eye.

Deal with your own stuff, so that you can truly live in a loving relationship with others, correcting where necessary, but done from the right place. We can all get better at relationships regardless of how good they are already. If you are in difficult relationships, then over the next few weeks, we will learn about what a healthy relationship looks like and what you can do to deal with them, how to make sure we are in right relationship, and how we can deal with our own stuff.

What are your relationships like?

Who are you in relationship with, that you are doing life with?

Are they healthy? If not, what do you think makes them unhealthy?

If they are healthy, what makes them healthy? What can you strengthen in your relationships?

How well are you addressing your own life issues or are you too preoccupied with the the stuff of others?

What would you like to change in your relationships? (Note: this is WHAT, not WHO!, the only who that you can change is you!!!)

We are made for relationship. We are made for healthy relationship. We are created by God to be in relationship with him. We are saved by God to live in relationship with him and to help others to have relationship with him.